Coronavirus Turned Me into a Caregiver

BELLROSE, QUEENS

In the middle of March, my mother, Chaitali Patel, tested positive for COVID-19. At the time, testing for the virus was very limited, and she was only allowed to be tested because she had Non-Hodgkin’s Follicular Lymphoma and a weak immune system. “I was in shock, a little scared, to find out the terrifying news. I was not sure if it would get worse and I would have to stay inside of a hospital or if I had the benefit to be home with my sons. I prayed to God and figured, if I got through cancer, I can get through this,” my mom said.

It took five days to find out she had the virus. During the waiting period, my brother Jai Dominguez got a fever of 103 degrees, and he had constant headaches. The doctors would not let him test for the virus because he did not have a weakened immune system. My mom’s results had not come in yet, and that meant there was no proof that he had been in contact with someone who had the virus. “I tried to convince myself it wasn’t the coronavirus, but once Mom tested positive, it was the biggest ‘Oh shit’ moment for her and me,” Jai said.

I was in shock, a little scared, to find out the terrifying news.

And then there was me. I am a student at The City College of New York, and the campus shut down. So I was stuck at home. I was trying to follow my courses remotely. Although I felt fine, I had to assume I had the virus as well, or that I was a potential carrier. I put our small house in Bellerose, Queens under lockdown. I didn’t allow anyone to go in or out.

Our lives changed completely during this time. My dad, Carlos Dominguez, although separated from my mom, was kind enough to bring us groceries. He left everything outside the front door. But I saw that he wore a mask and gloves, and after he left, I picked up what he dropped off. I wiped down everything in the packages and used disinfectant spray.

In the house, I immediately sprayed or wiped down everything my mom or Jai touched. I checked their temperatures often. If one was too hot, I would bring an ice pack to them. If one was too cold, an extra blanket.

Our lives changed completely during this time.

We do not have a washing machine, and the clothes piled up. I washed my clothes, my brother’s clothes, and my mom’s clothes, including underwear, using a bucket, some laundry detergent and cold water from the tub. I hung the clothing around the house to dry. My brother said, “I never asked you to do it in the first place, but I’m just glad to have clean underpants.” Every night I cooked dinner. I know how to work around a stove and oven. Sometimes dinners would get repetitive, and they complained about eating pasta and chicken for a third time in the week.

My mother teaches second grade. She notified the school that she had the virus and tried to work from home. Working was a struggle. I saw her cry in pain or move around on her bed. She said she felt achy, and she was hard to watch because there was nothing I could do. She did not struggle with breathing, and that was a blessing. It meant that we did not have to go to the hospital.

Jai was a student at Stony Brook University, and he had come home after New York Governor Andrew Cuomo ordered SUNY and CUNY schools to close. He has been stuck home since. There is now a huge lack of privacy in the house now that he is home. Jai and I share a bedroom. He is often on a phone call with his girlfriend and to escape him, I have to stay in the living room where everyone walks around.

As they’ve gotten better, I continue with a strict regimen. If they step outside and take a walk, I make sure they go straight into the shower, and their outside clothes go straight into the hamper. I can be a little brutal, but it is safe. “Even though you yell at me half the time, it would have been very difficult to get around if you were not around,” Jai said.

It has not been an easy three weeks, but it was an experience none of us will forget.

My mother is also grateful. “You make sure I get food when I ask for it. You bring me an ice packet when I need one. I hate when you see me in pain, but I admire when you ask me if I need anything even though there is nothing you can really do,” she said. She was re-tested to see if she still has the virus, and we haven’t gotten the results. But we can see that she is getting better, although she still has fevers off and on. I can say that Mom is in much less pain now, but I do not want to jinx anything. Jai still gets light-headed from time to time, but he is able to be the irritating brother he is.

It has not been an easy three weeks, but it was an experience none of us will forget. It is a strange time for me. Thoughts rush through my head constantly. During the worst of it, I wondered if they were both going to leave me. I worried about the amount of schoolwork I missed. And I worried about whether I was capable of taking care of my brother and mother on my own. I still worry. This wasn’t and isn’t pleasant. But I understand it is real life. Sometimes you have to learn how to adapt quickly.