COVID-19 DIARIES: ENTRY FIVE

Every day is just one day right now. I wake up and then fill my day with as many distractions as possible. Be it television, social networks, or music. I am surprised that I have not been a victim of “cabin fever” at this time. Before social distancing, you would never catch me at home. I would be in the library or hanging out with friends, but never just at home.

At first, I knew that no one took the coronavirus seriously. I remember a week before CUNY canceled in-person classes, Washington Square Park, one of my frequent hangout spots, was packed! Almost every inch of dry grass was filled with people finally enjoying the great weather; no one seemed to think about the virus. Thinking about it now, the park was probably a hot spot for the virus. I have never seen so many people in the park in my life. There were people of all ages: young, old, and in the middle. It was as if the coronavirus was not real, just a story told in the media that only affected Europe. We had to know what was coming but chose to ignore it.

Even though we had been talking about the virus in a majority of my classes, I still didn’t take it quite seriously. I would follow guidelines to stay home but honestly didn’t think it would go on this long. I didn’t even believe CUNY would cancel classes. Still, when they did, I was excited because no in-person classes meant no long commute to and from campus. Now, being in this situation, I kind of miss taking the train and having a reason to wear an outfit or do my makeup to go to classes. My desire to stay alive and keep others alive pretty much outweighs my desire to put on an outfit and hang with friends. It’s easy to forget the severity of what’s happening because we are all collectively going through it. It’s absolutely un-normal, but it definitely feels regular due to the global impact.

I am very fortunate that the virus has not (yet) directly affected my family, especially since my father is still working. However, I’ve had friends tell me their stories. I have friends stuck on campus in upstate NY. One of my closest friend’s dad actually ended up getting the virus. He is okay now, thank god, but in the beginning, it was looking very grim. Her father was in a lousy condition and had to completely isolate from his wife and kids. He had to put up a plastic shower curtain to create a barrier between him and everyone else. Another friend’s dad actually passed away due to the virus. He was an older man. I found out through an Instagram post of her pleading with her peers to stay home and follow social distancing rules. Another friend’s neighbor passed away, as well. So many people are dying every day, and it doesn’t even feel real.

Even though I know I am supposed to be covering the virus, as it is a whole sector of class, I just can’t bring myself to look at the stats and other coverage of it. The news is depressing, and hearing about the dumb things Trump has said throughout this epidemic can get grueling after a while. The numbers just keep going up, and events that we were all looking forward to are getting canceled. The entire month of June is closed; Cuomo doesn’t plan on opening beaches; PAUSE gets extended another thirty days every thirty days. The rainy weather also isn’t making anything better, but I guess gloomy cold weather makes you want to stay inside anyway.

With all the gloom, I find it hard to find the motivation to complete assignments. I don’t know if it’s because I’m home with so many distractions or if it’s just lack of motivation, not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’d never thought I would miss going to the library at CCNY, but I sure miss it now. It was the only place where I could focus on my work and actually get things done.

I’ve been keeping myself busy with other things. If I learned anything from being stuck at home, it’s that everyone needs a hobby. You can only check Twitter and Instagram so many times throughout a day without feeling like your eyes are going to fall out of your head. I’ve tried a plethora of things so far, none of which I am good at, but it keeps me off my phone. I’ve been attempting to sew, make beats, cook meals, create playlists, draw, paint, anything to keep my mind off the state of the world. My friends have been obsessed with Animal Crossing, a Nintendo Switch game that allows you to have debt and villagers. Every now and then we’ll get on Zoom and play games or just talk.

I’m not sure when the coronavirus pandemic will end, but when they do allow us to go outside and it’s safe, I just know that everything will be packed! The trains, the parks, the bars, the clubs will all be at full capacity. Even the homebodies have had enough of staying home. Summer 2021 will definitely be one for the books. But there won’t be a “summer 2021” if everyone keeps breaking social distancing guidelines.