COVID-19 DIARIES: ENTRY FOUR

The Covid-19 pandemic officially started for me March 11. While sitting in Modern Political Theory class, a student from the back announced loudly that CUNY was switching to fully online classes. There had been constant chatter throughout the entire week about what was going to happen to City College, especially after nearby Columbia University had already closed.

Quickly the discussion switched to what would happen to the class. Everyone wanted to head home as soon as possible. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t see my fellow students again. The professor tried to calm everyone down. It was clear she was not aware of what was happening. She reassured the class, telling us that she was going to look into potential ideas for online classes. This set the tone of the quarantine for me. No one really knows what is going to happen, and no one is able to concentrate.

Every day seems to follow the same pattern. After walking the dog and making coffee I sit in the living room on the couch across from my father and watch the TV. New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio comes on and gives a citywide update, then New York Governor Andrew Cuomo comes on, then President Trump comes on and reassures that this will blow over soon. Then my father and I argue about something one of the three said, or all three. In between I try to unsuccessfully to pass the time and keep my sanity.

I have learned seven new songs on guitar, read half a book, and finished about three TV shows since this quarantine started. I talk to my friend Dylan every single day, my friend Sinead who lives in Ireland once a week, and several girls on dating apps once every couple of days or so.

Still it feels incredibly lonely. Even worse is the lack of motivation. All of my friends have the same issue it seems. We know classes are still going on; it just doesn’t feel like it. Classes have become a chore, even in the classes that I was excited about. Assignments are even worse. I skipped class for the first time on April 21. I just decided to lie in my bed instead.

 I currently live with two people who are considered at risk due to previous conditions, and another who usually visits my house almost four times a week. So I have been very cautious and tried to limit my trips outside even as the pandemic was just beginning. My friend Dylan wasn’t so lucky. Being the head cashier at Home Depot, he was deemed an essential employee and was forced to work his regular hours.

Not surprisingly, he got sick. No one had provided him a mask or any sort of protective gear. At first he believed it to be some sort of cold. A week and a half later he decided to get tested at a drive through testing center. After what he described as getting stabbed in the nose and losing vision for two seconds, he was home in fifteen minutes. Two days later he told me he had tested positive. The next couple of days he started to improve. When I spoke to him, he was coughing less and sounded clearer.

Then, at 8:40 am on April 18 I awoke to 27 messages from Dylan. His mother had been rushed to the hospital at 3 am, she was not responsive. Dylan feared the worst. Seeing my best friend panic about possibly losing his mother, and what he would have to do if she did pass, shook me to my core. I tried my best to keep him company without being able to go to him. We still played video games that day, and we still joked around like nothing was wrong. This continued for the next couple of days. Four days later he told me she was in stable condition.

It feels like every day we wake up and expect to hear someone on TV say an exact date this is going to be over, that everything is going to go back to normal. Meanwhile, we watch and wait.